I wrote the majority of this back in January. Boy, has this been a year full of all the things. Love, blessings, grief, stress, sadness, anger, grace, boundary-setting, conflict, discomfort, brokenness, joy, relief, and it goes on. Have you ever had a year like that? One where you learn what it’s like for people to be afraid of you getting your sadness on them? But also where God shows up in SO MANY ways, mostly through other people who aren’t afraid to get in the mud with you? My hope through everything is that I can be one of those people for others.
As always, the one thing that remains, is LOVE. It’s still the answer. Go figure!
January 23, 2019
“Hi! I hope 2019 has been so good to you! It’s been quite a while since I have kept up with blogging. To be honest, there are so many things that I have not kept up with. While I love creating art and being a portrait photographer in the Dallas, Texas area, certain aspects of running a business are very hard for a creative. It would be an understatement to say that I have a learning curve and a problem with focusing on all the little details. Not to mention, life and surviving it. Sometimes, I don’t know if I actually am surviving it. There has been so much loss, and so much suffering in my presence, and my heart is in a constant state of heaviness.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
This isn’t going to be about a photo session, although, I have included images I captured of some beautiful people and things I love. Please feel free to stop reading and just enjoy the pictures if that’s what you came for 🙂
As someone I love battles the evil cancer monster, I am constantly stuck in a weird limbo. It’s so unpredictable, and makes being accountable anywhere else, difficult if not impossible a lot of times. Keeping up with running a portrait photography business has been one thing that has taken a back seat to those who God has called me to love, serve and grieve with.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Sometimes we experience storms of loss and suffering for a season or two. Sometimes our refining comes in the fires that life brings along. In the wilderness, I have NOT been abandoned, I only need to be still and trust that God is still with me. An easy life without trial, is not what any of us were promised. The pillars of cloud and fire that never fail to guide my path have not departed. So, I will not run from the One who was with me when I was turned away, Who is close to me now when I am brokenhearted, and Who will continue to go before me and behind me. My hope rests in this alone…
‘Surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.‘
I just keep hearing His sweet, “I AM with you.” When I have all but forgotten this truth, He knows, and He doesn’t let me forget. He knows when I think I have been destroyed, but I never am, and I never will be. When I think there is no purpose in the loss and pain, and He comforts and draws me not only nearer to Him but also to others who have faced even greater loss than myself. He knows when we are giving up, but He never, ever does! I give all praise to the One who carries our sorrows. If you are carrying heavy burdens, I know where you can lay them down and take rest.
‘Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.‘“
I want to leave you with the encouragement of some sweetness from my day today. The first, is a news story about a couple of sweet teenage boys, who showed loving kindness to another boy who had experienced bullying his whole life. This precious act of kindness, hopefully changed all three of those boys hearts, and many more. The second, more personal was something so simple. Maybe even insignificant to many, but isn’t that the way God works? He’s so intentional and so specific to meet our needs. This sweet 15 year old girl, who I don’t know and who doesn’t look like me, turned around at church today and grabbed my hand during a prayer, “just to pray together”. There are some AWESOME TEENAGERS out there!! My Big and Mighty God knew exactly what I needed today. He does everyday, in every circumstance. I pray you will experience God’s love and presence today too, friend.